Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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