Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
