I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
