News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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