why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
