I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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