sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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