Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
