And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
