I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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