yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
