he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
