I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
