I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
