I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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