I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize