just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
