just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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