Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
