Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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