Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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