he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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