how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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