I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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