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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now

  (1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

  sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  :)

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever

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• (760): View more from California

  i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

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• (408): View more from California

  man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.

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