my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
