if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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