it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
