google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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