this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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