quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
