Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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