So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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