id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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