i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
