Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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