I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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