so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I want a musical about memes.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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