I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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