If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
