she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
