need another drink. this is the easiest way
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I will pee on everything he values.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
