I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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