Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
