Jerry, you need to find god
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
