Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So much rum. So many feels.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
