Please, let me fuck your mom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
