watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize