Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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