I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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