haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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