Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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