just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
