Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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