is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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