he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
