I just gift wrapped bread.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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